Reformed Character

I think on lessons from regrets,
But pride and anger interject.
It's still too soon to take it back.
Despite maturity's honesty and hindsight's facts.
Knowledge is different from acceptance
and I'm blinded by my past intentions.
Malicious memories burst unbidden
To mind's forefront in crystal vision.
I squirm and squawk to off-key song
And guiltily know it. I was wrong.
How to put these things to bed,
Without time machine and kind things said.
And to seek those out to fix myself
Through closure is ego without stealth.
Moreover, they've all far moved on.
The hurt I caused is long, long gone.
Instead I carry their wounds within
And now seek virtue in place of sin.
I've imposed laws on supporating sores
From wallowing in filth with no just cause.
I've fenced my mind and gated my heart
And principled actions were a good place to start.
But self repair is reverse engineering
And I've left-handed hammers to fix the whole thing.
And I left the instrutions on a bus somewhere.
And I'm starting from a state of piss poor repair.
Challenge I like and challenged I am.
That's the best I can say.
But there's no deadlines or measures.
I just give a damn.
And I'm taking it day by day.