Avowed Renewal

Trust

rusts

When taken for granted.

We’d started

not to see each other.

Another role to fulfill.

Being responsible against our will.

This irresistible metamorphosis

re-imagined our existence from

blissful arts-based subsistence to

long term goals, earnestness, contentment

projects, rejections, expectations.

You know, it’s hard

to wear ill-fitting skin

just to get protection from the life that you’re in.

We’re both as bad;

I and he, he and me.

From our balls to our chains

we have shared difficulties.

We have our own little ways of getting through these days

that might seem odd

from an outsiders view

but you know, they work for us

and we’re not about pleasing you.

Our fights and compromises

have brought lessons and surprises.

Sleepless nights from anger teach as much as nights of joy

and one without the other is just noodles with no sauce soy.

So polish off those gloves, love.

Ding! Ding! Seconds out!

Let’s find out together what tomorrow’s all about.

I don’t promise to be gracious.

The best I can do is kind.

But if you promise to tell me your truth

I will promise to tell you my mind.

The Lunatic Will Always Look Like A Lunatic

I’m a loud speaker, baby.

The fun-house mirror of the world.

I amplify the signals.

I throw back at you your words.

I’m a great big natural sea sponge,

absorbing your projections.

I long to be impermeable, unreflective

to have protection

from all the barbs and badness

that others throw at me.

Instead I let them in,

magnify them, then I see

the way I’ve been affected

and what I’m giving out

isn’t really what I think at all

so what’s that all about?

Thoughts not mine come flowing forth

frothing with their falsehoods

while reason screams “you’re making scenes

from others’ opinions and bullshit!”

True people make me truly myself,

I noticed years ago

when first I learned what it meant

to honestly let go.

The worst of these adopted themes

is others’ jealousy.

I don’t know how to deal with it

it doesn’t come naturally.

Instead it makes me crazy,

thinking in ever smaller circles,

doubting those I love

eroding my hard-won self-worth.

It must be fucking awful

to have to always feel like that.

I’m glad these thoughts are not mine;

I’ve just absorbed them from that twat.

The one who fawns all over him

and then treats me like shit.

To see her act like a Mean Girl bitch

is frankly, a bit pathetic.

I’m his wife and he’s my husband

and we believe in marriage.

Perhaps you should focus on your boyfriend;

your own relationship needs to be salvaged.

You’ve no respect for us, it’s clear

and your self respect needs attention.

And as you really aren’t worth my time

This is the last time you’ll get a mention.