Showing posts with label abandonment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abandonment. Show all posts

Fortune

 “Fortune favours the brave” they say

in tones taut with untruth.


I'm cornered forcing

My face forward 

Hackles rising inside the fortress 

Of knives that I bought

With the battles I fought 

Just to get off my knees in the first place.


This misplaced faith reveals itself

a flasher in a dirty mac

Fangs cracked in grimace,

brown and beastly. 

I'm not easily broken.

Frustrated, choking

on unspoken fury, yes. 

Was I ever anything less?


With my back to three walls 

I'll chimney-crawl

Palms hot and slipping, knees burning, toes curling

Til I'm above it all.

I'm more than capable 

Your tricks pitiful, escapable.

Their hallmark unmistakable 

Little poison smirks and shirked responsibilities 

Leaving slickly silvered schistosomiasistic slithering ribbons of parasitic sleaze 

everywhere.

Like angel hair

 festoons in a Grimm fairytale forest

Leading not to freedom, but a furnace.


Adrift now on spinnerets deftly thrown threads

Money spiders claim me as their own.

 I dread

The battles ahead.


Despite my history of victory 

Complacency's amphigory

because 

The Future Belongs To Those Who Can See It Coming 

and I'm running towards it

My awestricken orbits

Entranced in the audit

Of plausible plaudits

Presented by Hope as possible pathways

To choose.

It's not a very cunning ruse, I'll admit that

But the patterns tell all, they love a bit of chit chat.

It's no mystery,

This cyclical long-form repetition 

of communal maladaptive dreams.

But Morpheus has forsaken me these past 30 years.

This sleepless lucidity is the blessing in the curse.

I'm well versed in the machinations and the misery.

You play chess 3D and I'm bored of games.

This hue and cry of shameful failures,

baying hounds on the heath 


“On a long enough timeline the survival rate of everything drops to zero”

Entropy and Apathy the anti-muses informing your decisions. 

Efforts at improvement abandoned, branded unrealistic by pessimism.

But pendulums swing by definition 

and your barbs of derision are blunted

By every ticking moment spent

In the prism of crystal vision.


Choose well.

Or perish.




Inspiration

That intake of breath
Of fresh
Air.
Bringer of new ideas
Unfair
-ly mined
By a dozen minds
Or more.
These spores of thought
Are cultivated
Through mediums and means
Averages avoided in passionate extremes.
We find it
All
In scattered places.
Lost and founds
Fractals
Faces
Forms of clouds and outer space;

Equally in the grotesque.

Sparks flare catching
Clutching
At life.

Kindled by contemplation
Fuelled by frustration
Ventilated by imagination
Tempered by the midnight oils
As we watch our best laid plans

Burn.
We learn.
We turn to disciplines unschooled.
We spool our nets far and wide
Outside our comfort quarters.
Research has shown us one path
But doubt is crazy paving.
Stop saving for that rainy day
And discover for yourself,
your truth.
“I think therefore I am”
Is all we really know.
Why spend your precious life collecting objects just for show?

It’s not the breaths you take,
It’s the breaths that’re taken from you
It’s the things you make them feel
It’s the ones who matter and mind

It’s a million people just like me
Telling a million people how to see
The world, the truth, society
As if there’s just one
answer.
As if I somehow know better.
In my oh-so-limited life.
 I don’t
and never will have
The answer.

All is confusion.
All is loss.

Why try to mold this chaos
 after your image
When your image is only
Breath in frost.

You cannot force the muse
Or trick her into her prettiest dance.
You cannot even ask her for help
For fear of her reprisals.

Abandonment comes naturally to one so self-involved.
And artists such as we all are are not sufficiently evolved
to survive such isolation.

Frost bites back.